just some ramblings from (the bereaved mom of) a vegan struggling with an eating disorder trying to get healthy
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Blood, guts, and balls
What the what?!? Isn't this supposed to be a food blog? stick with me here,it'll allmake sense in the end. (i hope.) (but i'm not gonna lie, I'm not making any promises....) okay, the blood. so, i have a significant other, and sadly, it is not mr. talaga- he was too cute anyway, he's probly a big douche now. or gay. her name's niblet. i adopted her last year and she's so gd cute i want to make her into a mudpie, eat her, and then POO her all over the table. http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=8572 anyways, i was kinda drawn to her cause she's a hot mess, like myself, shall we say, a little mangled. she was born with a hairlip and cleft palate on a military base and they were going to shoot her, but one tail at a time rescued her, fixed the palate, left the lip. she was the runt, and they said about half the size of her litter mates, so i'll just say she's a mini pitt for lack of a better breed name.:) she's not this bad....
She looks a little more like this.....
could. you. die? I just want to smush her. (and SUPRISE!! my mom brought me her camera, so let the fun begin....) Please to enjoy. (she looks like an alien in these pictures. what the hell is she looking at?)
so back to the blood..this mongoloid has some talons on her. and their black and they grow like weeds-
(rawr)so anyways, she seems to think it's her god given right to sleep on my bed, ie,me. we now have a difference opinion on this subject. she bounded her merry way onto my bed (or so she thought)my leg was a casualty of war. bleeding on my nasty old yoga pants i'm not too upset about- blood dripping onto my fairly new kicks on the following day does not a happy monica make. kay, now that vent is out of the way, and you've met the bitch, onto the guts. as in i guess i have to spill 'em and tell you little more about me...i avoid this for lots of reasons- i bore myself. i'm sick of telling my "story" cause i find it to be about as interesting as watching golf on tv, and about as original as that bastad at the ba in Good Will Hunting. (also i'm a chronic procratinator.) b. i don't like to sit in my shit and whine about poor me-so when do finally get around to it, i promise to hide it on a separate 'about me' page and you guys dont have to be subjected to the snoozefest unless you click over there-deal? (but hey, I know you will cause no one can really look away from a good trainwreck, but you've been warned. i'm absolved of any responsibility.:) but in a nutshell, emotionally-i'm twelve. (on a good day) physically-i'm ninety. (on a good day) (for real guys and dolls. yeah, i have a life line. and i'm not talking about a cute Frieda Pinto.) mentally-i'm somewhere in between. chronologically-thirty-one:) so now that the unpleasantess is outta the way...I gotta thank you guys SOOO much for all the feedback and support thus far!! i was expecting maybe like one of those nasty, hemp looking welcome mats that are always caked in mud....would have been thrilled even with a dorky "wipe your paws" welcome mat, but you girls rolled out the red carpet! (if mariah carey had this much support maybe she could lug around those gigantic knockers while she was drunk.) so thanks. (if your still reading this.) onto the balls!! (twss.) so i have an affinity for food on a stick....i blame bakerella...and with summer coming everyone likes a frozen treat, right? here ya go..(maybe this will be my claim to fame like a certain chocolate covered bloggettes brood of children..or the raw donut holes of a certain evil kitchen demon...:) (yea, i know...probly not. i'm the new kid, but i gotta aim high. if you guys have a beef with me-or in this case-lightlfe veggie beef strips- i'll see you at the bike racks after school. but be warned...i wear glasses...plus i'm injured, plus i have the bod of your gramma as previously discussed so it wouldn't be a very fair fight.) anyways-go make these now! here's what i used.
which i then turned into these little turds. (man that's a baaad picture....) they're 1/4 tsp. balls o' bliss..then i froze em' for a few on some non-stick aluminum, and lumped teaspoons of naturally nutty around them like so...then i stuck toothpicks in them, rolled em' up in almonds and back in the deep freeze.
(now i know they're a little pedestrian, but like i said, i'm new, gimme a break.)ladies and gentlemen i give you sticky balls. yuum. (say it like Paula Deen.) Pete Schwety and chef from south park ain't got nuthin' on me. put these in your mouth and suck em'! (yeah i said it) you could make these with so many variations and i've been lurking long enough to know how those little bloggie brain wheels are spinning-so go drop trough (just cause it's fun not to wear pants sometimes) and show me your balls,kay? (two other brilliant ideas for ridonkey-kong treats- whip up some banana soft serve and stir in those little frozen turds, or make that evil Averie's raw cookie dough and stir it into vanillaricedream!) your welcome. alright gametight, i'm spent. hope everyone rocks out st. paddy's day..all i know is mine will include cabbage and a fake shamrock shake. let the farts commence!
ps. does anyone else think,and/or hold entire conversations in movie references- or is it just me? (it's a good thing i entertain myself i guess...:)