It's Mom taking over from here, with all due respect

okay i hardly know where to start, but i guess the beginning would be a reasonable place. The beginning starting when though...maybe i will start with the end and then the beginning. The end of monica, which was the very next day after she wrote her last entry in this blog of hers. Anorexia would take her down, finally destroy her, and go on to it's next victim. The end of the physical being and body of her......march 18, 2010...dooms day.....the worse day of my life.....one year....8 months.....1 week.......9 days ago...

So I decided almost immediately that i would write a book about monica and our journey together ever since anorexia came into our lives. i wanted to show the world who she was without the disease, the real monica inside the shell, the part that never went away, except a few times when anorexia reared it's ugly head and made such disgusting language come out of her mouth when it was being forced to do something it didn't want to do. so i attempted to write this book starting at the very beginning of her creation...i spoke to so many people who knew people who had written books or looked on line at publishing information, and did research and basically just started writing....it was suggested to me by a very wise woman that i should start a blog to write my thoughts at the same time as the book ....well i wouldn't consider myself saavy when it comes to technology so the thought was a bit overwhelming....oh i should warn you all too that as monica mentioned in her one of her entries she overuses commas....well i am the same way with .dot...dot...dots....i love them to pieces so i hope they don't annoy too much. so this blog business is intriging to me so i thought i would try it, then i got this brilliant idea, which every once in a while that happens. i decided to try and go into monicas blog and use it instead of starting my own.

she was so ecstatic and exited to proceed with her blog, she couldn't hardly sleep she would think all night long what whe would want to enter the following day. she had been stalking some other blogs and longed to have her own, which she finally did. it was hysterical, funny, witty, entertaining, sad, but mostly funny and showed her personality and how easily she made fun of herself. i don't want anyone to think that this blog is going to be anything remotely like monica's, because it has very little to do with food, exercise, vegan, cooking, spices, utensils, etc. I wouldn't even dream that it would be as witty or fantastic as she would have made hers...i think i just feel very connected to her and this is my way of continuing my writings in her realm, you might say. as she said in one of her entries, she loves the shit out of me....well, i miss the shit out of her!!! every single day!! both my daughters are my life and i would have given up mine in a minute for her to still be here living a healthy normal life. okay enough....i just wanted my first post to give some explanation what the hell i am doing here. I don't intend to depress anyone or want to make this a downer blog......i'm thinking too that from now on i am going to write this blog in a letter form to...guess who?