Early Writings and Happy Times.............

Dad doesn't look too happy in this pic..huh? You and Chel sure do tho!

Memories....our memories...the happy times.....we were so lucky and blessed to have a happy marriage and also to have you and Chel. We were your average family...I think, to others, we appeared to have it all. We were without serious issues or problems for so many years and I never took that fact for granted. I also thought to myself , "I wonder when something terrible might strike, things are going too well and everyone has something". I enjoyed my life and family each day, but felt very lucky that everyone was happy and normal....what is normal?......today I feel that dysfunction is the norm...today after almost 33 years later, and seeing so many of my friends, family, people on Dr. Phil etc...and their problems.

I guess most families go through something or another, that just the way life is and sometimes life throws bad things in our direction. I always wondered what it would throw at me one day...it was inevitable that things couldn't stay as good as they were.. forever.

Looking back, as a young family, we had the opportunity to experience so many things. We went on trips to visit Aunt Sue and Uncle Jim in Maryland.....you and Chel would hang out in their outdoor pool all day long and take side trips to Ocean City.

 Several years we rented one of those enormous motor homes and even brought the dogs, Romeo and Bianca with us. I remember one time you both went with dad to pick it up the night before we were to leave. You and Chel were in the rear bedroom each one of you laying on one of the 2 beds. Dad went over a bump in the road and you actually hit the ceiling......obviously before the strict seat belt laws were in place.

 I don't like to think about the time Bianca ran away up in the mountains of Frederick Maryland. We almost had to give up and leave without finding her after hours of searching and calling her name through the woods...we were so happy to see her little face come around the corner of a huge tree all dirty and full of burrs, she was so traumatized.

You both took dance classes at Jane Perry Studio in Skokie for years, I would sit and watch you dance on the side of the studio. You guys would look so forward to the end of year shows where all the students would show off their dances they had been practicing all year. Grandma, Grandpa and the whole family would come and painstakingly watch all of the other kids for hours waiting for you to be on stage for your 4 minutes of fame.

I wanted to share some of your early writings that are so cute...they show how adorable and sweet...you were......always so thoughtful and helpful with your baby sis. Looking back I guess the only wish I would have for you is for you to have had a better self image of yourself....loving yourself is so important. I wish you could have loved yourself half as much as dad and I loved you.

I'm sorry I didn't give you the attention you needed, (according to your note)... if I had it all to do over again...I would give you nothing but attention...I was so happy to be able to stay at home and be there for you and Chel. I loved being your mom.

I know where you got your ability to save every single thing that you ever received, wrote, had written to you etc....you saved absolutely everything from each and every note you sent your friends in middle school, folded in that way where they end up in a thick triangle. (I wonder if kids still do that these days).

You definitely got your "'save everything" gene from me......I still have your little postcard they give you in the hospital with all your information on it from the nursery, if you can believe it! So I am the person you took after and I'm actually happy about it...i have lots of items of yours to share and add to the book. :)

I miss you so much.....m